My Immortal
by Gillianandersonwannabe
Summary: Just a little songfic. This is one of my favorite songs ever, so OF COURSE I had to write one of these! This is Scully after Mulder died and before he came back to life. Please review:


_**A/N:** Oh God, a songfic? Well, as soon as I heard this song, I realized every single line was pretty much perfect. I love this song a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. So here you go. The song is My Immortal by __Evanescence_. Listen to it if you haven't, but make sure to be within reach of a Kleenex. I've changed a couple lyrics slightly, but it's not too noticeable in my opinion.

**_Disclaimer: _**_I__ don't own Scully, Mulder, or any of this X-Files stuff. I also don't own the song lyrics to My Immortal. Unless you want an old PC, a go-phone, and an iPod shuffle, you're better off suing someone else. I'm looking at you Fox. Also, there's a line in here that was inspired by a line written in The Fault in our Stars, by John Green. If you haven't read it, you should. I don't own that either._

_Here you go. Try not to cringe too badly at the __clichés_. And drop me a line, I love to hear what you think, positive or negative! :)

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**I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all of my childish fears.**

That the quest that has cost us both so dearly is actually nothing. Nothing without you anyway.

**If you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave, because your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone.**

I went to your apartment after That Night we found you. It was like I had expected something to be different, but of course, nothing was. I shifted your curtains and looked outside. It was strange. While my own world was at a standstill life outside continued.

**These wounds don't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just so much that time cannot erase.**

Remember when you gave me that Apollo 11 key chain? I still have it.

Remember being cold out in the woods? I held you in my lap and sang to you. We kep each other warm.

**When you cried I wiped away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.**

I was your one in five billion.

**I held your hand for all of these years.**

You needed me just as much as I needed you. And right now? I need you more than ever.

Because the only person that I want to talk to about the death of Fox Mulder is... Fox Mulder.

**And you still have all of me.**

**You used to captivate me with your resonating light.**

I'm constantly in awe of your refusal to accept failure. Sometimes, that was the only thing that kept me going; the knowledge that you were doing everything possible to get back to me.

**Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.**

The X-Files. Your life. What do I do with them now? I owe it not only to you, but to myself to continue with them, and honestly, I love them, but I worry. I worry about whether I'm good enough.

I can make connections, but can I take a leap of faith? I can say I believe these people, but will _they_ believe _me_?

**Your face, it haunts, my once pleasant dreams.**

I want to believe that you didn't suffer, but your face tells me otherwise. I mean, my dreams about you- they were just dreams... Right?

**Your voice, it chased away, all of the sanity in me.**

I'm past the point of denial, but while I was in your apartment I asked myself something. I asked how this could've happened to me? How could I have given my heart and soul away so completely and inexplicably? How could I have fallen so horribly deep in love? I'm supposed to be the strong one, guard always up, with a strong line of defenses.

_You_ broke through them. Not only that, but you rebuilt them even stronger, with yourself on the inside. And now, you exist only there. Deep in my heart, where my memories reside.

**These wounds don't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just so much that time cannot erase.**

Remember when you pulled me up out of my seat and we danced to Cher singing Walking in Memphis? That was the first time that I thought about how well our hands fit together.

Remember when we were in the back of that ambulance, barely alive because of that damn mushroom? Without even opening my eyes I held out my hand. I knew yours would be there. I just knew you would meet my hand. And you did.

**When you cried I wiped away all of your tears. When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.**

You were my one in five billion.

**I held your hand through all of these years.**

Mulder, I need you.

**But you still have all of me.**

**I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone, but though you're still with me-**

My hand finds my stomach-

**I've been alone,**

**I'm alone.**


End file.
